I had a nice heart to heart talk with a friend.

Now I feel like crying on the bus.

Crap.

It’s amazing to see how beautifully the body can move and how anatomy and physiology fuse together into an art of motion. 

What I like about dancers is the passion you see not only in their movements but their faces as well. Dance is an expression, an outlet, and the creative utilization of what you’ve had since the beginning of your life. To some, it’s an escape. To some, it’s a hobby. To others, it’s a passion. It’s different for everyone. It unifies through its diversity. 

When I watch people dance, I’m in awe and feel borderline envious because I sincerely do wish I could dance. Well, I mean, I have the ability to, but the skill? Ehhhhhhh. I was discussing dancing with a friend earlier and we both voiced our dismay over how we weren’t more persistent about convincing our mothers to let us take dance lessons when we were younger. Some people don’t even need to be taught by another; they’re self-taught as if they slipped out of the womb groovin’. 

It’s never too late to learn, yeah?

- extension on sociology papers
- found out my history paper is actually due on June 3
- free ice cream and cookies
- jammed at the Lynn
- Dad’s giving me a ride home now
- my boobs look great in the bra and tank top I’m wearing

Like, seriously, I look down and I can’t help but think, “DAMN. Those are my boobs and they look fine”.

Time to head home, go to the mall, then take a nap before tackling homework. Good dayyyy.

Y’know what’s one of the most fascinating things to watch? Someone waking up.

One minute they’re completely shut off from reality by their own body’s need for sleep and the next minute they’re not. Sometimes their eyes flutter for a second, blinking away the persistent pull of sleep on their eyelids. Other times they may jolt awake with that ‘deer caught in the headlights’ expression and immediately feel embarrassed the moment after. I find that adorable, yet I’m guilty of feeling bashful when jolted awake, even if no one is there to witness it.

There’s that moment of not-quite-awake but not-quite-asleep confusion that’s entertaining to witness. It’s like watching a struggle between one’s mind and body; which one will win? The mind’s command to awake or the body’s desire for more rest? Sleep is great and all, but you need to wake up eventually.

Speaking of sleep… My body is calling for some of that (and then some, if you know what I mean) right now, so I shall retire for the night. I have a long, stressful day ahead of me (and I’m completely at fault while accepting the consequences).

Do I take a thirty minute nap and write a paper tonight, or do I go to bed now and wake up early to get shit done?

I think I just might do the latter.

Even though I had a pretty good time shopping with my family today (despite the ridiculous cashier at PacSun failing to scan my sunglasses, which were the only things I really wanted today), I still wish I convinced my mother to let me stay home to do schoolwork because honestly I’m over halfway to the “I GIVE UP WITH THIS” point. BUT I know I must persevere and kick these papers’ butts to fully achieve victory over completing my first year of college.

I managed to get a general outline of all of my papers and understand the prompts more, which really helped me feel more at ease.

I can do this. I can.

Gah. Ugh. I just feel so exhausted right now. Yeah, I think I’ll just go to bed and wake up uber early. Mom’s working tomorrow, so I’m hoping Julia will get picked up by her father and relieve me of babysitting duties. Also I’m hoping Mu Mu the cat visits tomorrow. 

Uwahhhhhhhhhhhhh okay. Yeah. I’m going to bed. The bag’s under my eyes are getting worse and I almost cringe every time I see them in my reflection.

Hello, Portland.

Ahahhhh so I guess staying home after prom is a more legitimate excuse for staying home rather than having five papers to write. Isn’t that right, Mom?

AND Michael and Gerry aren’t even here, SO GOOD LUCK SETTING ME UP WITH EITHER OF THEM, MOM. HAH. HA HA HA.

Deep breath, Kayla. You’re still with decent company, you have a thermos of chamomile tea, and you’re going to do some retail therapy. Maybe you’ll even get some Voodoo donuts.

Alas, I found my headphones in my jacket! Yay!

…even if that friend doesn’t own the cat.

WHATEVS, JERARD. THAT’S OKAY. I’ll get it myself. Mu Mu the neighborhood cat loves me. AND I did not cat-nap her. She willingly entered my cozy abode and subsequently my heart.

She’s family now. OHANA. OHANA MEANS FAMILY. Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten. Yeah. I went there. I. Went. There.

Excuse me, what? Who’s possibly going on this trip besides Bella’s family? WHOSE family?!

Michael and Gerry’s? Well isn’t that just FANTASTIC? Besides being cranky over the numerous papers I COULD be writing tomorrow, I will be fending off Michael’s advances and restraining myself from punching Gerry. On top of that, Tito Brad will be trying to snap a picture of me and Michael together all the time. No thanks, sir.

Look on the bright side, Kayla. No sales tax in Portland! Maybe I can finally use that Macy’s gift card!

Tomorrow is going to be a long day.

I caved. T.T Okay, Mu Mu, it’s hot outside. I’ll let you keep me company while I work on papers. I’m keeping my door open so you can easily go back out, okay? I will have to kick you out at some point. Sorry. :C

Dis cat…

Mu Mu, you’re adorable and fluffy, but you can’t live with me. :C Come back and visit me when I don’t have essays to write.

-edit-

I caved and let her inside. TT__TT I’m leaving the door open so she can come in and out whenever. Ahhh it’s so nice to have a pet at home, even if it’s temporary. I’ll have to kick her out before Mamallama gets home, though. :C

I FOUND A CAT.

Well, technically, this cat came up to my door, pawed at the screen, and meowed till I let her in. This is Mu Mu, one of my neighbor’s cats, I suppose. This is the third time I’ve let her into my home. I even took a video (which I’ll upload soon). 

What a lovely surprise! :D

I forgot I took these pictures today! Apparently I’m a very comfortable pillow. Kinsey said I couldn’t post these on Facebook but I could post them here. :P

Wow. Just a few more weeks and it’ll be summer vacation. Yesssss.

A lot has happened over the past 8-9-ish months. I’m grateful for every event no matter how much stress it caused me, how many tears I shed, and how many blows I received to my self-esteem. I’m grateful for all the new friends I’ve made and more. I found myself in a position I never really thought I’d see myself. I challenged and questioned myself till I was overwhelmed and struggling to fit the pieces of my identity back together. I grew and persevered, stumbling every now and then and even breaking down a couple times. 

Now I’m packing for the FamiLynn sleepover tomorrow and debating over whether I want to bring an extra blanket or not…which would mean using a bigger bag to lug around.  Ahhh, wow. I’m excited. :) I definitely need to do school work before it, though, because it’s crunch time now. I have four papers for my sociology class due on Wednesday that I’m not even going to bother starting till tomorrow. Rawr rawr rawr. Leggo.